24 Funny One-Liners to Tell at Parties


Most of us aren’t stand-up comedians, and we don’t walk around with a full repertoire of funny jokes to share at parties. That’s why it’s helpful to have a good one-liner in your back pocket. A reliable joke never fails to break the ice during social interactions, and goodness knows some of us can use all the help we can get in those situations!

Every so often, the good people of the Ask Reddit community get together and reveal their favorite short joke. Thanks to them, it’s easier than ever to memorize one or two quips to fill those awkward silences at your next backyard barbecue. Next time you’re at a loss for words, try out one of these one-liners and watch your popularity soar!*

*Results not guaranteed. Your mileage may vary. Please joke responsibly.

Did Not See That Coming

Via Getty Images/EvanKafka.

“Dad comes to his son and tells him he’s adopted. The boy screams. ‘I knew it! I wanna see my real parents!’

Dad replies, ‘We are your real parents, son. Pack your stuff, they’re waiting.'”


Well, Well, Well, Very Funny

Via Getty Images/Arsenio Marrero.

“Why did the old woman fall into the well?”

“Because she couldn’t see that well.”


Logical Thinking

Via Getty Images/Carina König / EyeEm.

“Why do scuba divers fall backwards out of the boat?”

“Because if they fell forwards they’d still be in the boat.”


Jokes for Hungry People

Via Getty Images/Donna Day.

“Well I’m sure everybody here already knows about Murphy’s Law…but you guys probably don’t know about Cole’s law, am I right?”

“What’s Cole’s Law?”

“It’s thinly sliced cabbage. Sometimes it has vinaigrette or mayonnaise.”


Ha Ha, Very Punny

Via Getty Images/Ian Dennis.

“I didn’t know my dad was a construction site thief, but when I got home all the signs were there.”


Good Ol’ Grandpa

Via Getty Images/Westend61.

“I’ll never forget my grandfather’s last words to me before he kicked the bucket. He looked me in the eyes and said, ‘Son, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?'”


Speaking of Grandfathers…

Via Getty Images/Andrew John Simpson.

“My grandfather had the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the Central Park Zoo.”

I See What You Did There

Via Getty Images/Vincent Besnault.

“It’s always hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they’re always taking things literally.”


Now You Tell Me

Via Getty Images/Westend61.

“If life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic.”


Shoutout to Bel-Air

Via Giphy

“How do you find Will Smith in a snowstorm?”

“Look for the fresh prints.”


Here’s Something Heartfelt

Via Getty Images/Michael Heim / EyeEm.

“A man is at the funeral of an old friend. He approaches the dead man’s wife, and asks if he could say a word. The wife says that yes, he could. The man stands up, clears his throat, and says ‘Plethora.’

The wife smiles, and says ‘Thank you, that means a lot.'”


What a Crappy Situation

Via Getty Images/Eric O’Connell.

“A thief broke into the police headquarters during the night and took all the toilets.

Cops say they have nothing to go on.”


So Flaggin’ Funny

Via Getty Images/Junior Gonzalez.

“What’s the the best thing about living in Switzerland?”

“I don’t know, but the flag’s a big plus.”


A Historical Question

Via Getty Images/Razvan Chisu / EyeEm.

“Where does a king keep his armies?”

“In his sleevies.”


Pondering Is Dangerous

Via Getty Images/ Dalton Rasmussen / EyeEm.
Dalton Rasmussen / EyeEm

“I was wondering, why does a Frisbee appear larger the closer it gets? Then, it hit me.”


Solid Advice

Via Getty Images/Graiki.

“If at first you don’t succeed, don’t try skydiving.”


Well, It Makes Sense

Via Getty Images/Elles Rijsdijk / EyeEm.

“Where do you find a dog with no legs?”

“Right where you left it.”


It’s a Fact

Via Getty Images/GARO.

“Studies show that women who carry extra weight live longer than men who bring it up.”


Well, Duh.

Via Getty Images/Elva Etienne.

“What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back?

A stick.”


I Can Relate

Via Getty Images/Andy Ryan.

“What’s the difference between ignorance and apathy?”

“I don’t know and I don’t care.”


That’s Not Very Comforting

Via Getty Images/Glow Wellness.

“What do you call someone who graduates last in their class from Med school?”



How to End a Discussion about Politics

Via Getty Images/Steve Craft.

“If I agreed with you, then we’d both be wrong.”


Rim Shot!

Via Getty Images/Mike Kemp.

“I took the shell off my racing snail, thinking it would make him run faster. If anything, it made him more sluggish.”


That’s a Step Up

Via Giphy 

“Women only call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor.”


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