24 Funny One-Liners to Tell at Parties

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Most of us aren’t stand-up comedians, and we don’t walk around with a full repertoire of funny jokes to share at parties. That’s why it’s helpful to have a good one-liner in your back pocket. A reliable joke never fails to break the ice during social interactions, and goodness knows some of us can use all the help we can get in those situations!

Every so often, the good people of the Ask Reddit community get together and reveal their favorite short joke. Thanks to them, it’s easier than ever to memorize one or two quips to fill those awkward silences at your next backyard barbecue. Next time you’re at a loss for words, try out one of these one-liners and watch your popularity soar!*

*Results not guaranteed. Your mileage may vary. Please joke responsibly.


Did Not See That Coming


Via Getty Images/EvanKafka.

“Dad comes to his son and tells him he’s adopted. The boy screams. ‘I knew it! I wanna see my real parents!’

Dad replies, ‘We are your real parents, son. Pack your stuff, they’re waiting.'”


ciprex

Well, Well, Well, Very Funny


Via Getty Images/Arsenio Marrero.

“Why did the old woman fall into the well?”

“Because she couldn’t see that well.”


tocamix90

Logical Thinking


Via Getty Images/Carina König / EyeEm.

“Why do scuba divers fall backwards out of the boat?”

“Because if they fell forwards they’d still be in the boat.”


Natural_Justice

Jokes for Hungry People


Via Getty Images/Donna Day.

“Well I’m sure everybody here already knows about Murphy’s Law…but you guys probably don’t know about Cole’s law, am I right?”

“What’s Cole’s Law?”

“It’s thinly sliced cabbage. Sometimes it has vinaigrette or mayonnaise.”


mystriddlery

Ha Ha, Very Punny


Via Getty Images/Ian Dennis.

“I didn’t know my dad was a construction site thief, but when I got home all the signs were there.”

Zyracksis

Good Ol’ Grandpa


Via Getty Images/Westend61.

“I’ll never forget my grandfather’s last words to me before he kicked the bucket. He looked me in the eyes and said, ‘Son, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?'”

Rockatelli

Speaking of Grandfathers…


Via Getty Images/Andrew John Simpson.

“My grandfather had the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the Central Park Zoo.”
c**tpuffin

I See What You Did There


Via Getty Images/Vincent Besnault.

“It’s always hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they’re always taking things literally.”

Zyracksis

Now You Tell Me


Via Getty Images/Westend61.

“If life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic.”

rotobot


Shoutout to Bel-Air

Via Giphy


“How do you find Will Smith in a snowstorm?”

“Look for the fresh prints.”

taeloth

Here’s Something Heartfelt


Via Getty Images/Michael Heim / EyeEm.

“A man is at the funeral of an old friend. He approaches the dead man’s wife, and asks if he could say a word. The wife says that yes, he could. The man stands up, clears his throat, and says ‘Plethora.’

The wife smiles, and says ‘Thank you, that means a lot.'”

BBLTHRW

What a Crappy Situation


Via Getty Images/Eric O’Connell.

“A thief broke into the police headquarters during the night and took all the toilets.

Cops say they have nothing to go on.”

russianout

So Flaggin’ Funny


Via Getty Images/Junior Gonzalez.

“What’s the the best thing about living in Switzerland?”

“I don’t know, but the flag’s a big plus.”


lonesomeduck

A Historical Question


Via Getty Images/Razvan Chisu / EyeEm.

“Where does a king keep his armies?”

“In his sleevies.”

Galeosray

Pondering Is Dangerous


Via Getty Images/ Dalton Rasmussen / EyeEm.
Dalton Rasmussen / EyeEm

“I was wondering, why does a Frisbee appear larger the closer it gets? Then, it hit me.”

nickachu

Solid Advice


Via Getty Images/Graiki.

“If at first you don’t succeed, don’t try skydiving.”

thrackers0d

Well, It Makes Sense


Via Getty Images/Elles Rijsdijk / EyeEm.

“Where do you find a dog with no legs?”

“Right where you left it.”

SixFive65


It’s a Fact


Via Getty Images/GARO.

“Studies show that women who carry extra weight live longer than men who bring it up.”

LnkSNS

Well, Duh.


Via Getty Images/Elva Etienne.

“What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back?

A stick.”

joliesmama

I Can Relate


Via Getty Images/Andy Ryan.

“What’s the difference between ignorance and apathy?”

“I don’t know and I don’t care.”

dizzley

That’s Not Very Comforting


Via Getty Images/Glow Wellness.

“What do you call someone who graduates last in their class from Med school?”

“Doctor.”

jcpearce

How to End a Discussion about Politics


Via Getty Images/Steve Craft.

“If I agreed with you, then we’d both be wrong.”

zane_not_zane

Rim Shot!


Via Getty Images/Mike Kemp.

“I took the shell off my racing snail, thinking it would make him run faster. If anything, it made him more sluggish.”



Impedimenta85

That’s a Step Up

Via Giphy 


“Women only call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor.”

Psychological_Ring

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