Dating an African Man – FE
For those who have never dated someone from another country or culture before, the process can feel anxiety-inducing and even downright terrifying. After all, different cultures have different customs, ideas, and thoughts about what is attractive, what is polite, and what is considered rude.
Dating an African man is an excellent example of this, but don’t worry – we’ll teach you all you need to know about dating an African man in this guide.
What Is Dating An African Man Like?
All across the world, men are relatively simple creatures – both men and women know this well. However, when you cross cultural boundaries, it can feel like the man you’re dealing with is a mysterious, unknown creature. However, with a little bit of advanced knowledge, figuring out an African man is relatively easy.
Firstly, remember that many women in African cultures are strong and independent. If you want your African man to respect you, you should make sure you show off your independent side as well. Ensure he knows that you are a sensitive, caring person who will give him a fulfilling relationship and show that you will support him and build him up, not bring him down.
As long as you make a point to show him that you can be both sensitive and strong, his love and respect for you will grow. He’ll show that love and respect by supporting you back in the same measure, as well as loving you deeply.
When they can, African men will want to spoil you during your relationship. The happier you make them, the more they will want to shower you in affection and gifts. The ultimate compliment from an African man is his desire to build a family with you.
If your African man wants to start a family with you and take your relationship past the dating level, it means he’s decided that he wants you by his side always, and he intends to work with you through many trials and tribulations.
African men are very traditional when it comes to family – it is a very precious thing to them. When he wants to raise a family, he wants to do it right to give his children the best life possible.
If you decide to have intimate relations with your African man as you date, you should also know that he will care for you just as thoroughly behind closed doors. Making sure he makes you feel as good as you make him feel is one of his highest priorities.
What Should I Expect When Dating an African Man?
If a particular African man has caught your eye, it’s a good idea to prepare yourself in advance for some of the things you’ll experience while dating him, especially if you are not African yourself. As we mentioned earlier, you will run into cultural expectations that are different from what you’re used to.
No matter how well you prepare, there will be times when you misunderstand or misinterpret things because of this cultural divide. However, if you take the time to prepare yourself beforehand, you can minimize these misunderstandings and potentially even impress your African man in the process.
Know Who’s In Charge
The first thing you should know about your African man is that he will always be the head of the family. While African women are strong and independent, they are also the African man’s pillar and his support. If you try to outstrip your African man in authority, he may feel offended or even insecure about what he means to you.
Your African man takes pride in leading the family and making life easier for you. Of course, he is willing to work alongside you and be your equal in reality, but he also wants to be perceived as the de-facto leader of your family. This way, he feels like he’s protecting you (and the rest of your family) from any harm that might come your way.
If you come from Western culture, a traditional African man may come off as controlling or overprotective of you. Please don’t be offended by this, as it’s his way of protecting you from the evils of the world. It will be your job to talk to each other and work out fair guidelines for both of you to follow. The goal is always for you both to be happy and comfortable in your relationship!
Support Him at Home
While equality between people of many different genders and races has come a long way in recent years, a traditional African man will always desire a person who feels at home in the kitchen. This does not mean that he expects you to be a stay-at-home spouse who raises all of his children, though!
In reality, African men love to see hard work and dedication in their chosen partner. If you have a well-paying job that you’re proud of, this will attract him rather than repel him, as he’ll instantly recognize that you will work hard for what you want.
However, an African man does take pride in his ability to provide for you. If you would prefer to be a stay-at-home partner, he wants to be able to make that happen for you. It would please him to no end to see you at home caring for his family and his children, but he will respect your wishes no matter what you decide to do.
The one place where you may run into an issue is if you have a job or position that puts you above your African man. If you make significantly more money than he does or hold a high power position, he may interpret this as a blow to his own confidence. If this is the case between you, it’ll be up to you to talk things out and come to an understanding with your African man.
Regardless of whether you decide to work or stay at home, there will always be one thing your African man will expect from you: the ability to provide food for him and the rest of the household. African men lie somewhere in-between traditional and modern, and while he will encourage your strength and independence, he also expects you to make sure everyone is well-fed.
Of course, if you work long hours and come home too tired to cook, your African man won’t hold this against you; he’s not an unreasonable man, after all. With a bit of coaxing, you may be able to convince him to help cook meals for the family. If the two of you are secure enough in your finances, he may be open to the idea of hiring a chef to help handle some of the work.
However, don’t underestimate the value of cooking your African man a traditional meal. Nothing pleases him more than seeing you learn and understand his culture, and if you can cook a traditional African dish just like his mother or grandmother used to, you’ll impress him to no end.
After all, no matter where your man comes from, the way to his heart is always through his stomach!
Learn His Culture
When it comes to an African man’s culture, he expects you to learn about more than just food. Your African man expects you to understand why some things are essential to him, how parts of his culture have shaped him, and what his “roots” are in general.
More than that, though, your African man expects you to know and embrace your own culture, regardless of where you come from. Since he values his roots so much, he expects you to treat your own with the same reverence. If you can show him that, he’ll know that you’ll treat his culture with the respect it deserves, as well.
Most importantly, both of you need to recognize that you’ll occasionally stumble across cultural misunderstandings, no matter how much you learn his culture and he learns yours.
This will be a fact of life that the two of you will need to work through on a case-by-case basis. However, as long as you trust and respect each other through them, the strength of your relationship will carry you through.
Put Family First
It should be clear by now that an African man is all about putting his family first. As such, not only does he expect you to show his family courtesy and respect, but he wants to see you value your own family with that respect, too.
While this is all well and good in theory, some families don’t get along this well in practice. An African man is someone who will support his family no matter what they do; even if he can’t stand to be around them, he will help them, love them, and welcome them into his life.
This means that if you have a problematic family that you don’t associate with, it might throw him for a loop. An African man will have trouble understanding why you’ve distanced yourself from family members because, according to his culture, you never leave your family behind.
If this is the case for you, you will have to slowly introduce him to the idea and explain precisely why you and your family don’t get along.
If you can prove that you will get along with his family, even if your own family is estranged, you will boost his confidence in you significantly. More than anything, he wants you to love his family, and he wants his family to love and approve of you. Being respectful and friendly with them is an excellent first step to achieving that.
Watch out for Stigma
Unfortunately, even in our modern world, stigma, racism, and judgment still happen from time to time. If you are not African, but you still decide you want to date an African man, you may face judgment from other people. In the worst cases, you may even see judgment from your African man’s family because you’re not African.
The best thing to do when you’re faced with stigma, regardless of where it comes from, is to rise above it and move on. Don’t lower yourself to the level of the ones judging you. After all, you date who you want to date, and no one else has any say over what you do with your life. Your African man agrees, so why should you dwell on it yourself?
No matter your race, gender, skin color, or background, you can rest assured knowing that, if you’ve caught your African man’s eye, he loves you for exactly who you are. He doesn’t care about what others think when they see you. Even if his family takes a while to come around at first, he knows that they will eventually mellow out and support both of you.
More than anything else we’ve said so far, don’t be afraid to be yourself around your African man. Of course, it’s always a good idea to show him as many of your “good sides” as possible, but don’t create a false persona in an attempt to mislead him or fool him. Not only will an African man see through this quickly, but when he does, he will lose all respect for you.
African men are honest, hardworking, and very straightforward. If he sees that you embody the traits he’s looking for in a partner, he will pursue you to the ends of the Earth. However, if he gets even a hint that you’ve been fooling him, he will immediately lose interest.
It’s extremely important to keep in mind that you are only worth the effort of the “chase” to your African man if he sees you as a prize.
If at any point he gets a clue or a hint that you aren’t who you say you are, he won’t confront you or even become angry about it. Instead, he’ll just stop the chase and look for another quality partner to set his sights on. To him, a liar isn’t even worth the time of day.
How Can I Attract an African Man
Perhaps you’ve come to this article because a particular African man caught your eye, or maybe African men are your type in a general sense. Regardless of why you want to attract an African man, the important thing is to know how to do it. After all, each culture is different, and African men have their own list of things that make them tick.
Speaking of different cultures, keep in mind that African men can come from many different countries. Some of the sub-African regions that your special man might come from include:
- South Africa
- And many more
How to Catch (and Keep) His Eye
If you want to gain your African man’s attention, the first thing you need to do is make sure he notices you. If he sees you and you check off all of his boxes, you will pique his interest. However, getting his attention is easier said than done.
Of course, even African men, when you get right down to it, are still men! If you want to attract him, the best way to do so is to present yourself as flatteringly as possible. This can be through pictures, messages, an online dating profile, or in person, but regardless of how you meet, your first impressions of each other are crucial.
An African man is looking for a confident partner who’s not overly flirtations, desperate, or promiscuous. However, you’ll need to draw his attractions to you at the same time, so being too frigid won’t help, either. You will have to walk a delicate line between being too closed-off and being overly flirtatious.
The best way to prove to your African man that you’re worth his time is to show that you’re respectful, fun, and sensual, but that you’re picky about your men, too. He should know that you have standards. He doesn’t want to pursue a woman that will fall in love with any man.
However, your African man needs to know that you’re loyal, too. He needs to be sure that you won’t dump him and move on if a more successful bachelor comes your way. It’s essential to find a way to show him that you are the loyal and devoted type because if he gets any clue that you are not, all future plans of building a family together will go out the window.
From there, all you need to do to keep your African man interested is to liven things up every so often. Don’t be afraid to play hard to get; he takes pride in his dedication to you, and as long as you don’t take things ridiculously far, he will chase you down and make sure you belong to him!
While there are some considerations to make for culture and values, dating an African man isn’t all that different from dating any other man. The most important things to keep in mind apply to any man, after all: be yourself, respect him and his family, and most importantly, make him fall in love with you by learning to cook his favorite foods!