Signs He Wants You Back but is Scared


There are many reasons people break up. Some people have differences, others may call it quits because of infidelity, and some people do not have a goal, they need some time apart.

Some relationships last for years, while others are short. But, no matter how long a relationship is, if you care about someone when it ends, you may have a lot of questions. You may even want to know if that person is interested in getting back together with you.

Maybe you are not even sure why you want to know. It is natural to have a curiosity about whether or not your ex wants to get back together.

Luckily, no matter what your reasons are for wanting to know, finding out should not be very difficult. If your ex still has feelings, there are probably some pretty visible signs he wants you back but is scared.

Clear Signs He Wants You Back but is Scared

Some signs are more evident than others. No matter how visible, if you are scared, you will not see the sign. Remember, you may be just as afraid as he is. If that is true, keep your eyes open for blatant signs that he is still interested in you.

He Calls You Regularly

If your ex calls you, that is an indication that he still has feelings for you in you, and it is a good sign that there may be hope for the relationship as well. As long as you are still communicating, you are continuing to bond with each other. It is more difficult to move on when you speak to someone frequently.

He Wants to See You

One of the most significant signs of his interest is his wanting to see you and spend time with you. If you’re going to hang out with someone, you almost always care about them. So, if he is still reaching out to you in hopes of spending time together, the chances he wants to try again with you are pretty high.

He Stays in Touch

Even if you do not stay in contact regularly, your ex may still be interested if he stays in touch with you. This is especially true if he contacts you on special occasions.  If he can’t get you out of his head, you will likely hear from him on:

  • Your birthday
  • Holidays
  • Days that were important to both of you
  • His birthday

He Buys You Things

When your boyfriend has always given thoughtful gifts, and all the sudden stops giving or gives things that are not thoughtful, that is a significant sign there is trouble in the relationship. However, if he is still buying you gifts, he is showing you he cares. Buying gifts takes time and effort, an effort he would not spend if he did not want to impress you.

Your Opinion is Important

If he calls you for advice, he is likely still hung up on you. He cares what you think. He could call someone else. Additionally, if he wants to get back together, he may want to make sure the decisions he makes now do not prevent that from happening in the future.

But, no matter why he is calling for advice, he respects your opinion and wants to involve you in his life.

He Tells You About Important Things

You call the people you care about the most when important things happen in your life. Think about who you want to talk to when you have big news. If you still want to be with him, he is probably one of the first people you think of when you pick up the phone.

The same is true for him. If he contacts you to tell you about significant events in his life that are a clear sign, he still wants to share his life with you.

Subtle Signs He Wants You Back but is Scared

The less visible signs are a little harder to decipher, but they are still an indication he may not be ready to move on without you. Depending on his personality, he may not be the type of person to come right out and tell you his feelings even. It may also have been true before your breakup. In this case, his signs might be more subtle.

He Talks About You

Generally, you do not talk about people unless they are on your mind. If your ex is talking about you, it can mean a lot of things. He may miss you, but he may not want you back. However, if he is talking about you, at the least, you know that he is thinking about you, and he has not fully moved on.

What he says about you when he talks about you is another good indication of how he feels. Does he say positive things about you? Or, is he just trash-talking you to people to make himself feel better about breaking up with you? Make sure you take into consideration what he has to say about you when you decide whether or not he is still into you.

He Asks Other People About You

Asking about you is a bit more direct than just talking about you. If he is asking about you, that shows he wants to know how you are doing. He is probably putting out his feelers to see if you are pursuing other relationships. And, there is a good chance that he misses you.

Additionally, this shows that he is not afraid to show his interest in you to other people. He also probably hopes the message will get back to you. He knows if he is asking about you, the person he is asking is going to report back to you. Speaking through other people is a way for him to open up a line of communication if the two of you have not been in contact.

He Still Follows You on Social Media

When your ex follows you on social media, he still wants to know what you are doing. Continuing to follow you on social media might mean he is curious about you, but it can also mean more. To analyze if he is showing signs that he wants you back but is scared, you have to ask yourself the following:

  • Does he like your photos?
  • Does your ex DM you?
  • Does your ex tag you in posts?

If he is doing any of those things, he is probably not ready to move on or at least not ready to start dating other people. If he is seeing someone else, they likely would not like him tagging you and liking your photos. Direct messages are a little less direct, but still a good indication he may be interested.

If he is merely following you without interacting with you at all, he might just not be paying attention to his social media. He might feel awkward to delete you as a friend. So, if you are looking to social media as a sign, you need to dig a bit deeper.

You Run Into Him

If you run into your ex, it is probably not a coincidence. The fact is, if you do not want to see someone, you avoid places that person might be. So, if you are seeing him when you are out with your friends or at places where you two used to go together, he is probably still interested.

You might be running into him by chance, but probably not. Furthermore, his reaction to you when you run into him is a good indication of what he wants. Some signs he is still into you when he sees you are:

  • He talks to you.
  • You get a text from him asking what you are doing.
  • He stares at you.
  • He moves closer to you.

Other People Tell You He Wants You Back but is Scared

When you still care about someone, you talk about them to your inner circle. So, hearing from someone close to him that he wants you back likely means that he does. Of course, this is not a guaranteed sign unless he is telling the person how he feels.

If his friends and family like you, they might speculate that he wants you back, but not know for sure. They might also hope the two of you get back together despite the way he feels, which would make them biased.

He Calls When He is Drinking

Most people have been on the receiving end of a drunk call from an ex. Or, you may have been the drunk caller. When you are drinking, your inhibitions are lowered, and you often start thinking about the people you care about most. Think back to the times you have drunk dialed someone; you were probably drunk dialing someone you missed and were interested in or someone you wanted to see.

He is Still Single

There are only a few reasons someone remains single after a breakup. If he is still single, it means he did not break up with you to be with someone else. So, there is a possibility he may even want you back. Other reasons he is still single could be:

  • He is working on himself.
  • He enjoys being single.
  • He has not found the right person.

Any of those reasons mean there is still a chance for the two of you to get back together. He may even be working on himself in hopes of winning you back.

Reasons He Might be Scared to Get Back Together with You

It is essential to know that fear is a powerful emotion, and sometimes fear wins over love. Most people have feelings for their exes after they break up, but that does not necessarily mean there will ever be a reunion.

If he is scared, he might way the pros and cons and decide it is not worth trying again. Make sure you prepare yourself for that mentally. More people than you know are in relationships with people they are not in love with because they are scared to pursue others. Some of the reasons he might be scared to get back together with you are:

  • It ended badly the first time.
  • He is scared of getting hurt.
  • You do not fit in with his friends.
  • You are not who he thinks you should be.

The Reason You Broke Up May Hold the Key

The reason you two broke up and the way you are handling the breakup may have a lot to do with whether or not he wants you back. No matter what the reason you broke up, there is a possibility that he is still emotionally invested in you.

If he cheated on you, he might realize that he made a big mistake. There is a good chance that hey does not want to be with the other person. If you ended it with him due to his cheating, he might want you back, but the thought of you not wanting the same thing scares him.

Interestingly, if you cheated on him, he might want you back, but scientifically men are less likely to take women back after they cheat. It does not mean that he does not want to be with you; it just means he may be scared of the repercussions for taking you back.

There is also a possibility that he does not want to break up. Maybe he justs needs a little time to himself.

What to do if He Shows Signs He Wants You Back but is Scared

What you do depends on if you want to get back together or not. It is essential to ask yourself if you genuinely want to get back together with him before you decide what to do. If you’re going to get back together with him because you care about him, then go for it.

If you do want him back, there is hope. Research studies show 44 percent of couples get back together after a breakup. So, if you want him back, there is a good chance he wants you again too.

Tell Him You Want Him Back

The best thing to do if you want him back is to be completely honest with him about how you feel. If you do not often talk, pick up the phone and call him. Be direct; do not contact him through social media or text message. If at all possible, ask if you can see him and speak to him in person that way there is no miscommunication.

If you think he has been giving you signs that he wants you back, but he is scared, tell him that. Talk to him about his fears. Offer to work with him on the relationship and if he wants to take things slow.

Talking to him about your feelings might be scary, but if you are already broken up, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Be prepared to jump back in if he is ready.

Give It Some Time and See What Happens

If you are also scared, you can give it a little time and see if he makes the first move. It is not the most productive solution, and if you want him back, you are leaving things to chance by not letting him know how you feel.

What to Do if You Don’t Want Him Back

So, maybe you two stayed friends. You enjoy your friendship, but you suspect that he wants to get back together with you. If you care about him, you should let him know your intentions, either by giving him clear signs that you are not interested or by telling him.

It is never easy to let someone down, but it is better than leading them on. Sure, it will hurt him if he wants to be more than friends, and you don’t. However, telling him your intentions is the right thing to do.

Do Not Talk to Him Regularly

As mentioned before, if he talks to you all the time, there is a good possibility that he wants to be in a relationship with you. So, if you are not interested in more than a friendship, you should make sure you are both on the same page.

If you feel like he still wants more, but he may be scared to tell you out of the fear of losing you, the right decision might be to back off a little. You can remain friends but give him some space so he can move on and do the same.

Stop Hanging Out With Him

The same goes for spending time together. When you hang out with someone, you are more likely to develop feelings for that person and to miss them. Hanging out with someone you are in love with is torture if that person does not feel the same way about you in return. Continuing to see him if you think he still wants a relationship when you do not could be a recipe for disaster.

Watch What You Say and Do

Some people do have the ability to remain friends with their exes after the breakup. But, there are some rules you should follow if that is the case. First of all, you need to watch what you say. Be extremely careful not to give mixed signals. If you love being friends but are not in love with him, never give him the impression you want him back by:

  • Reminiscing about your time together.
  • Telling him, you love him.
  • Telling him, you miss him.
  • Being physical with him.

Tell Him You Do Not Want Him Back

Honesty is always the best policy. If you do not ever see yourself getting back together with him, kindly let him know. If you broke up with him, to begin with, you already did the hard part, but if he is still trying to impress you, you might want to make things crystal clear. This is especially true if you two are still friends because many people only remain friends with their exes in hopes of getting back together with them later.

What if The Signs Say Yes and He Says No

Sometimes there are all the signs in the world that your ex wants to get back together with you, but he tells you otherwise. If this is the case, save yourself the heartache and move on. If he is not willing to make an effort at the relationship with you, you owe it to yourself to focus on other things.

Signs are often misunderstood, and exes can be manipulative. If an ex wants to see you but does not want to get back together with you, it could be that he is getting something from you and wants to hold on to that without recommitting to a relationship.

There is also the possibility that he wants to pursue others without letting you go. If that is the case, you deserve to do the same. After all, no one wants to wait around for someone only to find out later that they moved on.


Breakups are difficult, no matter what the circumstances. However, trying to figure out if someone wants you back instead of just talking to them is practically torture. Save yourself the heartache of wondering and pondering on it and try to communicate how you feel.

If he says he no longer feels the same way about you, move on. You can never make someone take you back, and if it is meant to be, things will work out down the road. If he tells you he has moved on, watching you move on with your life might be just what he needs to realize he still has feelings for you. Either way, if he tells you he has lost interest, you will not lose by moving forward.

On the other hand, if you talk to him and he tells you he is game to make a go at it again, you owe it to both of you to make a wholehearted effort. Keep in mind; it might be your last chance to make it work.

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