The Reasons You’re Still Single If You’re Gay
It can be a lonely gay world when it comes to dating. With all of the people on the planet, is it possible there are so few dating options? The answer to why you’re still single could be in the mirror. Here are the top 6 things that could be keeping you from cuddling.
Guys love independence. They want to know that you have your hobbies, ambitions and interests don’t rely solely on his. Being his cheerleader is great and wanting to be around him as much as possible is a part of liking someone, but he’ll lose interest if you let your identity become a mirror copy of his. The best boyfriends and partners are ones that compliment each other, not fill each others’ voids. Thinking a boyfriend will cure the emptiness couldn’t be further from the truth. He can’t compensate for areas of your life that need your love and attention. Expecting him to will only lead to frustration and increased unhappiness. Besides, he’ll sniff your neediness a mile away.
OK, you’re not really, but you think you are! The bottom line is if you don’t love what you see in the mirror no one else will. Some wait for others to validate their attractiveness. And while it’s true that many guys lust after the bulls with the perfect bodies, most guys don’t fit this description (neither do most guys want to). We must be the ones that love ourselves, in our bodies as they are. Just possessing this bit of confidence can attract other single men. When you believe you’re attractive you stop needing approval from others. That confidence will get propagate throughout your life and affect everything you do, including the way you approach being single.
You’re a Bitch
We get it, you’re fierce. But your lack of eye contact, standoffish demeanor, and chilly responses are only reinforcing the titanium wall you’ve built around yourself. You’ve done a good job using witty quips to mask your distrust and disgust for guys that have hurt you in the past. It stops you from getting hurt (again). Unfortunately, it also keeps everything else out, including people that are genuinely interested in getting to know you. Loosen up a bit. You can still protect yourself and show your supreme fierceness without pushing away strangers that could potentially turn into more.
You’re Too Social
No one likes going out alone. The thought of it is awkward and uncomfortable, especially when groups of guys are chatting and sipping cocktails while you’re flipping through Facebook on your phone. What may feel like a solo trip to loser camp is actually an opportunity. Bars, lounges, and clubs are great times for groups of friends, but when you’re busy chatting with buddies you aren’t available to meet other single guys. It’s in our nature to be wary of packs. To the single guy on the hunt, you’re far more intimidating surrounding by 15 of your friends than you are chatting with only a few buddies or hanging out alone.
You’re a Bottom
There is a gay state of emergency. We’ve spent so much time hiding and not getting what we want that when we do come out all we want is, well, everything exactly as we want it. This includes sex. It’s fine to prefer one sex role over another or one type of guy. However, many guys are too firm in their “preferences,” so much so that they reject potential partners even before knowing their names. How often has a potential connection been turned away after a single question: top or bottom? It true: If you’re a bottom and he’s a bottom, things could get tricky in between the sheets. But have you considered the possibility that a preference is just that, a preferred way of doing things? Could it be that if you guys hit it off, the opportunity to explore ways to be intimate with mutual satisfaction exists? Ultimately, you may not be compatible, but isn’t it worth a chance?
You’re Too Perfect
It’s not perfection that people fall in love with, it’s the imperfections. Bull, you say? Test it out on a couple that’s deeply in love. Ask them what they adore most about each other and almost all will point towards a quirk or quality that others might see as a defect. Sometimes the hardest thing to do is be ourselves while trying to impress others. Essentially what we are doing is covering up our true selves. It’s like we’re telling a lie by not being committed to being 100 percent authentic. And like all bad lies, the truth eventually surfaces. Let loose and be genuine. This will give him an opportunity to get to know the real you and eventually fall in love with those quirks that we all possess.