What to Do When a Woman Stands You Up?
Learning how to deal with flaky girls can be beneficial in maximizing your long-term success with women. Discover why a woman might flake out on a date and what to do when it happens. It is crucial to be able to not only approach women, but to have a reliable and consistent dating life where you are meeting women and going out on dates with beautiful women on a regular basis.
One common issue that comes up a lot when dating women is the issue of flaking. Over the years, I’ve developed a series of techniques, attitudes, and mindsets to minimize a girl from flaking out from a date.
Why are Women So Flakey?
You may be wondering why women are so flaky in the first place. If there really is genuine interest, she should automatically be less inclined to flake. A woman that is truly interested in seeing you will go head over heels to ensure that her plans with you stay in tact.
Most often if a girl flakes out on you, this means that her interest level in you is not all that high. Many guys assume that if the previous date or interaction goes well, then every other interaction following that should follow suit. But in reality, women – especially girls, are highly emotional beings and they will do whatever their emotions tell them to do at that very moment.
Quite often, you will hear men confused on why a girl suddenly flakes on them or starts to act cold after a great first date, first interaction or even after sex.
A Woman May Have a Low Interest Level
In other words, she is not fully invested in you and she may be having second doubts about your date. Think about your last interaction. Possibly something you did or said on your last interaction with her inadvertently scared her away from continuing her plans with you. Or are you asking to do something she has never done before? Moving too fast? Acting too needy perhaps? Trying to get her to meet you at your house or apartment too soon, and you haven’t built enough comfort with her?
A Woman May Flake Because She Has Other Options
Modern women these days have many options and an abundance of access to a plethora of other men these days via dating apps, social media, their jobs or even at their coffee shop or local bar. Based on personal experience, most Western women that are decent looking (a 6 or 7 or higher on a scale of 1-10 in looks) have at least several men chasing them on any given day.
Take Plenty of Fish (POF) for example. Recently, a girl showed me her POF dating app and revealed that she had been receiving hundreds of messages alone with different guys on the app. And, she wasn’t a supermodel either – just your average girl.
If a girl flakes on you, chances are she received a better offer elsewhere. There may be someone else in the picture. That can be in the form of a date from another guy, a girls night out or even the inclination to stay at home and watch Netflix after a long day of work instead.
A Girl May Flake Because She is Actually Busy and Something Came Up
It’s quite easy to tell when a woman flakes on you whether it is due to a genuine reason or a complete lie. Just the other day, I had a woman flake on me last minute due to a “flat tire” conveniently an hour before the planned date. Other common excuses used by flaky girls can be unexpected family emergencies, some tragic accident, a sick grandmother in the hospital, etc.
Usually, this type of white lie is often extremely unusual, heartbreaking and sympathy-generating.
Learning How to Deal with the Last Minute Flake from a Woman
A last-minute flake from a girl is not only a mood-killer, but it can potentially take a toll on your overall confidence with women. Even though it may never be clear why a woman flakes on you, as it could be a million reasons why – the excuses and the routines usually are pretty similar. The sooner you can spot a flaky girl, the sooner you will learn how to deal with flaky women.
Below are some strategies I’ve used to deal with a Flaky Woman:
- Treat a Flaky Woman like a Game of Baseball – I rarely give a woman more than two opportunities to meet with me, especially one that I don’t know well. After the third cancellation or flake, I usually strike her out and start talking to other women immediately. I might leave this girl in the back burner, or delete her number completely.
- Maintain a Masculine Presence – Many guys that tend to be needy and too approval seeking may begin to act disappointed, upset or frustrated. It is important to keep your cool. Part of being a man is setting your boundaries as to how far you can be pushed around (canceled or rescheduled and flaked on)
- Have a Backup Plan – I call this “Plan B.” Women are highly emotional and tend to live in the moment. For this, I usually have other potential dates lined up in the early stages of a relationship – especially if the relationship is yet to be committal. If a woman flakes on me, I simply call up another girl. Sometimes, I have another date lined up a few hours apart. Never put your eggs in one basket.
- Be More Interesting – Make your lifestyle so incredibly fun, interesting and intriguing that she cannot help but to keep her plans with you. This starts by making interesting dates, having positive momentum, a good career and many exciting developments happening in your life.
- Be Less Available and More Mysterious – This kind of goes hand in hand with the above, but women like men who are mysterious. In other words, women like to find out about their man gradually over time. If you spill the beans too soon, she may get bored and begin talking to other men. By being more mysterious, busier and less available – she’ll be vying for your attention more often rather than the other way around.
While I’ve only touched the tip of the iceberg when it comes to dealing with flaky women, I hope you’ve learned a few key tips to avoid a girl flaking out on your dates. The key is to set definite dates from the get-go.
If you liked this article or have any questions – write your comments below and I’ll be happy to respond! -Eddie